New Start
by conniejaneway
Summary: Just a quick one shot. This is an alternative theory to the crash with a different outcome.


She was stood in a room full of fog, a black room but there were no walls, no floor. It was a void. A never ending expanse of nothingness filled with a haze so thick she couldn't see through it, like nothing she'd ever seen or experienced before.

She couldn't move, only hear. Fragmented voices coming and going around her, some she only heard once but there were others that would return over and over, but no matter which voice it was none of them made sense.

She should be scared, worried at least, but there was a calmness about it all that she found relaxing and peaceful.

"Connie..."

"Connie..."

Someone was calling her, a distant gentle voice was breaking through all the other murmerings, but she couldn't see, couldn't turn her head.

"I need you..."

"Please..."

The voice begged. Who could need her, who would want her to leave this safe place.

"Open your eyes for me..."

"Please..."

But her eyes were open, she could see the fog, there was nothing else to see.

A new sensation washed over her, she was moving. No, not moving...floating, an invisible force pulling her up, the voices becoming clearer, more defined. The fog dissipating.

It wasn't a nice feeling, it hurt. She willed it to stop, she didn't want to be moved, she wanted to go back down away from the ache now radiating through her, she didn't want this, she was confused, why wouldn't the voices let her be?

The pain seared in her head as a bright light blurred her vision.

"That's it beautiful...You can do it."

The gentle voice was right there beside her, so close.

Making the effort to put a face to the voice she turned her head away from the light, ignoring the loud buzzing in her ears.

She found a kind face smiling back at her. A man. He looked so happy, so relieved to see her.

"Hey sweet cheeks...you've had me so worried." He said.

His words didn't make sense, they confused her.

She frowned. "Who are you?"

...

"Who are you?"

She could see her words had hurt him, his feelings were written all over his face for the whole world to see, but there was no point in pretending. She didn't know, she didn't even vaguely remember him. She watched him and took in his appearance.

"Your a nurse..." Is wasn't a question. "...what happened...why am I here?" She wondered having no recollection of how she got there. She still felt dazed and confused, her eyes rolling as she fought to stay conscious, she didn't want to sink back down into the depths, they were no longer appealing to her. Now she needed answers.

She could feel the blackness creeping over her...then nothing.

...

Jacob watched her drift off before braking free of his trance, looking down at Connie's hand that he still held in his. He knew this was a possibility, the doctors had warned him, shown him the scans. But to see it, to experience it, nothing could have prepared him for the devastation he felt.

His heart shattered, the love of his life didn't even know his name, couldn't recognize his face. How would he begin to explain to Grace that things were going to be different from now on, maybe for a little while, maybe forever.

He would hang on to the hope, that's all he could do. Hope that the memory loss was temporary, hope that they would make it, that their relationship was strong enough.

...

Days mingled together for Connie as she listened to her doctors. They told her of her amnesia, of the accident that had caused it. She could remember the hospital and all her training but the people and how she came to be back here was where she was drawing a blank. She felt sick when she thought of all the years she couldn't remember, of the people she couldn't identify, the hurt that she caused them when they realized they were strangers to her.

She had a daughter.

Grace.

She wanted to remember her so badly. Grace had been to visit her a few times, hobbling up to her on crutches because of her broken leg. She was being so brave, telling her stories to try and jog memories.

Then the man.

Jacob.

He'd been there when she woke up and he'd been there every day since. Talking to her about nothing and sometimes everything. He was so gentle and patient with her, he never actually said the words but she knew he cared about her, he was more than the friend he said he was.

...

It was time to go home. Three weeks in hospital, now it was time to leave.

There wasn't anything physically wrong with her. The cuts and bruises were healing, the swelling on her brain had gone down, the only thing that wasn't right was her memories or lack there of.

She had a different kind of doctor now, a doctor she could talk to, who she could confide in, who would give her exercises to help her remember.

She was going to her home, a home she didn't know she had, a home she shared with her daughter, a home she's would share with Jacob until things got easier.

It wasn't an all together unpleasant thought, she quite liked the idea of him being around and helping with Grace.

The two of them got along so well, she wondered if they'd always been this close or whether it was because of the situation they found themselves in.

She wanted to remember.

...

That night Grace had insisted that she take her up to bed, she wanted her mum to tuck her in. It had been so long and the excitement had taken its toll on the young girl. As odd as it felt Connie obliged, helping Grace hop up the stairs and into bed.

"Mum?" Grace called out as she was about the leave the room.

She's not sure she'll ever get use to the idea of someone calling her that. "Yes?"

"I know you don't remember what happened before the accident...but...I just wanted to say I'm sorry...for...for saying I hated you...I really don't and I felt bad about it ever since...I thought you were going to die thinking I hated you." Connie stood shocked as tears rolled down Grace's cheeks.

This wasn't her, this wasn't what she did.

Mothering.

She was a surgeon with a career plan, with ambitions.

With none of the memories that led her to here, or the experiences that made her a mother to this girl, Connie froze.

She felt a pair of strong hands on her shoulders moving her to one side.

Jacob rushed in and enveloped Grace into his arms, soothing her and consoling her. And it was so much more than she could do, so she left, turning her back on the two people that seemed to care about her most.

There was an awkward silence, Jacob watched from the kitchen doorway taking in the woman before him. She wasn't the person he remembered, the Connie he knew wouldn't have left her daughter heartbroken like that.

Connie sat at the breakfast bar hunched over a large glass of wine. "Is she okay?" She mumbled feeling his eyes boring into her.

"She will be..." Answered Jacob moving into the room. "...what happened?"

Connie shrugged. "She got upset apologising for saying she hated me before the accident."

"And you couldn't think of anything to say that would put her mind at rest?" Quizzed Jacob trying to keep his cool.

"I'm not her...I know you both want me to be but I'm not...I don't know how to be her..." Connie sighed heavily. "...I don't have the memories that made me her...all I want to do is go back to work...that's where I feel comfortable." She could see the disappointment in his eyes, there was a pang of regret deep inside that she couldn't be that person.

Looking around the house earlier at the photographs on display she could tell she was happy, the other her, the her that she couldn't remember. Holding her daughter smiling, they were real smiles to, the kind that reached her eyes.

She wanted it, that contentment, but right now she couldn't see the way there.

...

Connie was grateful to Jacob, after that night he'd given her space while lending support if she needed it, like a silent strength for her to draw on when she needed. He stayed just within reach, ready to lend his ear or a shoulder to cry on. He was her rock and for a man she barely knew it surprised her how easily she trusted him.

Grace on the other hand kept her distance but she couldn't blame her, she wasn't exactly the most approachable person especially now as she fought to be reinstated into her role as clinical lead. As the days flowed by Connie sank deeper and deeper into a world of obsession, her one track mind focused on getting her job back and disregarding anything else.

She'd gotten so use to waking up to find Jacob in the kitchen preparing breakfast that it stopped her in her tracks this morning to find him gone. Just a note on the table.

 _"I've been called into work, Grace is still in bed, I'll be back hopefully by dinner. Jacob x "_

Connie read the note twice over.

She felt nervous.

Panicked.

"Hi..." Came a quiet voice behind her. "...Erm...where's Jacob?" Asked Grace rubbing sleep from her eyes.

"He..He had to go to work." Connie explained.

"Oh...what's for breakfast?" Grace looked at her expectantly.

"I don't know...what do you normally have?" Said Connie tried to sound unfazed by the situation.

"Well it's Saturday...Jacob usually makes pancakes." Grace smiled sweetly.

"Oh. No. You don't want me to make them...I can't cook!" Exclaimed Connie.

"I know...but we can try though can't we?" Optimism radiating from the young girl. "It'll be fun."

Connie ignored the voice in her head telling she didn't have time for this, that she should be reading, preparing for the hospital board on Monday. Instead she opened the cupboards pulling out the ingredients and utensils they'd need. This was the first time Grace had given her the time of day in over a week and there was a small part of her that wanted to make the effort.

She was glad she did, the joy on Grace's face was a pleasure to see as they took turns flipping their pancakes, she was happy. Connie's heart swelled as it dawned on her that she'd done that with just a simple activity.

The pancakes tasted terrible and they'd ended up with a bowl of cereal each but that wasn't the point, they were talking and it was no where near as uncomfortable as Connie had expected.

The fact was, she was enjoying it to.

"Grace?" Connie started.

"Yep?" She answered brightly hopping off her stool, ready to get dressed.

"I want to apologize...for the other night..." Connie looked down at her hands nervously rubbing at an invisible mark. "...for the past few days too...I've not been very fair to you...and I'm sorry."

Connie looked up expecting to be alone, but the moment she lifted her head she was engulfed by a pair of small arms. "Its okay mum...I understand your not yourself...Jacob explained it all to me...everything will be okay."

"I don't know what I'd do without the two of you..." Said Connie blinking back tears. "...go get dressed...let's me and you go for a walk...there's a park round here isn't there?"

Connie watched Grace run from the room, her feet pounding up the stairs as she rushed to get ready.

It was a small step for the two of them but it was a start.

...

"He loves you, you know." Stated Grace as she walked beside her mum.

"What?" Frowned Connie.

"Jacob..." said Grace innocently. "...He loves you."

"I'm sure he doesn't sweetheart." Connie shuck her head, the whole idea sent a warm feeling through her but denial was the safest way to go.

Connie caught Grace smiling at her. "What?"

"You called me sweetheart...you haven't done that since the crash...you use to call me it all the time." Explained Grace.

Connie took Grace's hand. "I will get there...I really will...it's just going to take time...but you understand that I might not remember the things that happened before...we'll get passed this, I promise."

"I know...as long as you understand that Jacob loves you!" Teased Grace.

The two of them continued to walk the rest of the way round the park chatting and laughing together.

...

Letting themselves back into the house they could hear Jacob calling out to them. "GRACE!...CONNIE?"

"Everything okay?" Asked Connie with amusement when she realised they'd made him jump.

"Where have you been?" He queried as his panic dissipated.

"For a walk." Smiled Connie.

"Can I go play on my iPad?" Asked Grace already heading for the stairs not expecting a answer.

Connie and Jacob were attempting to stare the other down, completely oblivious to anything around them. "I'm aloud to take my daughter for a walk aren't I?"

"Sure...of cause...it's just..." Jacob blinked breaking the spell. "...I didn't expect you to take her anywhere...you've not-" "I know...I know but I want to spend time with her...I realize I've not shown much interest...it's difficult...but I'm starting to find my feet..." Connie moved forward to stand in front of Jacob. "...I'll make more effort from now on, I promise."

"In your own time sweet cheeks." Grinned Jacob, happy with the change in her.

"Sweet cheeks?...you've called me that before...in the hospital." She pointed out.

"Sorry...force of habit."

"No...I like it..." she blushed. "...so...work called did they?" She asked, her voice laced with disbelief. A slow smile crept over her features when she realised she'd caught his lie, enjoying the fact she was making him squirm.

"I wanted to give the two of you some space." He explained.

Connie nodded her understanding. "Thank you...for everything...for being here...I don't know what I've done to deserve your support...but thank you." Connie hesitantly moved closer, resting her hands on his shoulders she reached up to place a gently kiss on his cheek.

"I was about to say, you don't need to thank me...but..." smirked Jacob.

Connie let out a chuckle as she moved passed him into the kitchen. "Your terrible-" She felt Jacob's hand on hers as he spun her round pulling her into his chest in one swift movement, surprise evident on her face.

Relaxing into him Connie slid her hands up to rest on his shoulders, his hands around her waist. She could see his eyes flicking between her eyes and her lips, she knew what he wanted to do but could also see his hesitation.

"Sorry..." Jacob cleared his throat as he quickly moved away. "...I'm going to...I have a few errands to run...I'll...Erm...I'll see you later." With that he was gone, out the front door before Connie could even react.

...

"Grace?" Connie knocked on her bedroom door as she poked her head around the corner.

"Hey mum."

"Could I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

Connie let herself all the way into Grace's room and sat down on the bed.

"Its about Jacob...do you think..." Connie struggled. "...Will you tell me...we're we-" "we talked just before the crash...you told me you loved him..." Grace jumped in saving her mum's disappear. "...I'm not sure but I think you've been together since Christmas...with a break in between...but that was because of me...I didn't want to share you...you didn't break up because you wanted to...when I found out you were back together and hiding it from me...you said that you loved him." Grace gave her mum the information she was certain she was struggling to ask for.

"But your okay with it now...I mean, not now...but before...we sorted everything out?" Wondered Connie.

"Yes...that's why I was sorry...it was wrong of me to keep you apart...you looked so happy...but then everything happened..." Grace took a moment before continuing. "...Will you and Jacob be a proper couple again?"

"I'm not sure...I...I really don't know." Said Connie with a sad smile.

...

It was late when Connie heard the front door opening, she jumped up from her place on the sofa pushing her paperwork to one side.

"Hey." She said greeting Jacob.

"Hey." He answered back.

She noticed an empty rucksack in his hands. "What's that for?"

"I...well you and Grace seemed to have gotten back on track so...I should probably get out of your hair." Jacob headed to the stairs.

"Jacob...please..." she took hold of his hand stopping him in his tracks. "...please...can we talk?"

Jacob reluctantly followed her into the room, watching her as she gathered up the papers thrown haphazardly on the sofa. "Sorry...I was just brushing up on some things for my meeting..." Connie nervously stacked her work quickly and dropped into the coffee table. "...have a seat."

Jacob stood rooted to the spot. "Look Connie...I'm sorry...I shouldn't have done what I did."

Connie frowned at him. "Why?" She asked knocking him off guard.

"Well...Because your not well...because you don't need me complicating things...Because-" Connie cut off his panicked reasons with a kiss, a gentle one with no expectations.

"Have you finished waffling?" She smiled up at him with a eyebrow raised.

Jacob's arms slipped around her waist as her cupped his cheek. "I think so." He grinned at her before claiming her lips in a deeper kiss.

"I'm beginning to see why I fell in love with you?" Murmured Connie as they rested their foreheads together.

"What did you say?" Asked Jacob pulling away.

"Erm...Grace...apparently I told her that I loved you...but I'm guessing from the shock on your face its not something I told you." Explained Connie as her cheeks pinked up his scrutiny.

"No...you didn't." Agreed Jacob.

"Oh..." whispered Connie becoming disheartened.

"Why don't we make a new start...let's get to know each other again." Offered Jacob trying to alleviate her distress.

"I'd like that..." she smiled accepting his warm embrace. "...I'd like you to stay too...if you want, that is..."

"I'd like that." Said Jacob repeating her words back at her.

 _ **The End...**_

 _ **Hope you enjoyed my little theory.**_

 _ **C.J xxx**_


End file.
